untitled [Een dichter]

She asked for a reason: “Why do you seek, why do you always seek?” She probably expected that even for this question I’d have a considered answer, a reasonable thing to say, something that would originate from the domain of reason, an explanation, something logical, a simple thing, a rule compatible, not contradict with my existence / existing set of rules, the set that is the sum of my ego and some might perceive as a book easy to live by (or for, for that matter.) She was not entirely wrong to expect what she expected, to look for what she sought, I did expect to find an answer, myself, and hell, I wrote the rules by hand, know them by heart. I would probably answer that I just want to hold someone and be held, that I somehow need to be part as if unable to be whole solely on my own (merits). Yet I am quite uncertain whether that counts, whether it suffices as a valid answer, nice to say perhaps when trying to appear deep. An answer that seems deep at the surface, but in it’s attempted profoundness defies logic, as well as the parts of me I know and understand, somehow it seems unexplored territory. (Is it at all possible that it is never explored, that I never attempted to describe it, never endeavoured to put it on paper, due to the fact that it is physically impossible to describe the nature of a cavity?)